What Was Lost
by whitters23
Summary: It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.  Beth's journey to finding where she belongs. Mentions of Finn/Quinn, Puck/Quinn, Puck/Rachel, Rachel/Finn
1. To Our Darling Girl

**AN: This idea came to me when I saw this prompt at the no longer active CoreFour Livejournal community._  
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.  
_This is predominantly a story about Drizzle/Beth and her life after she loses her adoptive parents and finds out about her true origins. We will meet up with all of the 'Core Four' eventually and possibly even more of the Glee club members. Just a warning that this may delve into all of the love square relationships as I like the dynamic they have and I think it will be interesting for Beth to discover the chaos out of which she was born. :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just an idea I had and wanted to share with you. **

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_To Our Darling Girl_

It started with a letter.

Quite possibly the saddest letter she had ever read.

At only 14 years old her world had come crashing down around her. She didn't know the details. She didn't want to know the details. All she knew was they were gone. They had been taken away from her and there was nothing she could do about it. It didn't matter how many tears she cried or how many times she pleaded with God, they weren't coming back. She was alone in the world, with only her Aunt Susan to love her. And although her aunt meant well she had no idea what to do with a teenage girl.

It was two weeks after she had gotten the horrible news that her aunt had timidly knocked on her door and presented her with a large Manila envelope and a hot cup of tea. When she inquired what was in the envelope her aunt simply shrugged and whispered, "but I thought it was best to wait until things had sunk in before giving it to you". Then she backed out of the room, leaving her alone once again.

She took a quick sip of the piping hot tea before she picked up the letter. It was thick but fairly light and her name was scribbled on the front in an unfamiliar hand, possibly some lawyer's.

She slowly tore it open and then waited, unsure if she really wanted to see what it contained.

She exhaled a deep and long breath before tipping its contents into her hand. Inside was a letter and three other envelopes, one brown, one plain white and one that was a bright yellow. She fingered them slightly before reading the letter that lay on top.

It was from her parents.

How was it that something as simple as the phrase '_To Our Darling Girl_' had the power to halt her breath and make her heart ache so badly? The letter was sweet and kind and here and there her father had added a bit of his humour to lighten the mood, but it was still a sad letter no matter how much humour it contained. It was them explaining that they loved her, even though she knew she would never hear them utter those words again. It was them telling her that they were proud of the person she was becoming even though she knew they would never see the person she would actually become. It was them giving her hugs and kisses even though she knew she would never be able to feel their touch again. It was heartbreak all over again.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to throw things, she wanted to hate the world, but somehow she couldn't manage any of those things. She just sat there hunched on the floor beside her bed, rereading the letter over and over, hanging on to each kind hearted sentiment.

She reread the letter until she was sure that her father's jagged writing and her mother's loopy left handed scrawl was properly etched into her memory.

It was a while before she thought to open the other envelopes. She had almost forgotten about them until she realised her parents had left her a P.S. on the back of their letter.

_Honey B, enclosed with this letter are three others. The contents of these may be a little shocking and we just wanted you to know that we had always planned on telling you of them, but we were waiting until your sweet 16th__. We hope you will understand and forgive us for not sharing them with you sooner. _

She was perplexed. She turned the envelopes over in her hand. They were all fairly plain and none of them had anything written on them. She decided to go for the plain white one first. Slowly she ripped it open, almost scared of what it might say. Inside was a single sheet of lined paper that looked like it had been torn out of a ring bound notebook. It simply read:

_Dear Beth,_

_They say when you love something enough its sometimes best to let it go. I hope that's true._

_Noah Puckerman_

What the heck did that mean? Who was this person and how did he know her name? She quickly reached for the yellow envelope since it was the next in the pile and ripped it open.

_To my dearest baby girl,  
__When you first entered my life I didn't know what to do. It turned my world upside down. But after a while I made my peace with it, I was happy to be the one giving you life. I wanted more than anything to be there for you forever and always but the truth was I was terrified. I could never provide for you like a proper family could… I barely had a place to call my home, let alone the means to raise a baby. I was very young when you came into my world, still just a girl really. From the beginning I felt it was the right thing to do to give you to a family that could provide for you and give you all of the things you deserved in life. _

_It wasn't until much later on that I realised just how hard it would be to give you up. Without my knowing it you had worked your way into my heart… and several others' too. At a time in my life when I was the most alone I had ever been, I always had you. __You who would give me heart burn or kick me awake in the middle of the night. You who would do somersaults in my stomach whenever I sang. You who made me grow into the woman I am today…even though I am still very young. _

_I have learned so much from you during these past few months. I've learned the value of true friendship and being true to yourself above all others, I've learned how much my selfishness can hurt the ones I love, I've learned that no matter how bad things can be I can survive… and become a better person because of it.  
_

_It's only now that you are no longer nestled in my belly that I realise how empty I am without you. You have taken a piece of my heart along with you and I don't think that will ever change. Please know, wherever you are, that I'll never forget our time together and that I will always love you. It was out of love that I knew this decision was the right one. _

_With all my heart, Quinn Fabray  
__(Your birth mom) _

She sucked in her breathe. She was _adopted_. That word sounded so foreign to her. The parents that she just lost, that she loved more than anything else in the world, were not even her real parents. She sat there in stunned silence for what seemed an eternity, willing herself to absorb this earth shattering news. How was she supposed to feel about this? She had already lost her parents, was it fair that she had to lose them all over again?

Finally she reached for the brown envelope, hands somewhat shaking. It was the thickest of them all and as she soon found out the most confusing. The thickness was due to the very worn pages of lyrics that accompanied the letter inside, a song she had never heard before by a group called the Pretenders. Laying them on her lap she read through the letter.

_My little Drizzle girl,_

_It seems strange to write a letter to someone when I don't even know their proper name, but I guess it's more strange that I am writing this letter at all. _

_You don't know me but I know you. When I knew you your favourite ice cream flavour was Pralines and Cream… but sometimes it was Black Cherry. You used to love when I read you the sports scores and you shared my love for classic rock… especially Journey. Of course you were in your mom's belly while all of this was going on, but you were special to me just the same. _

_People say you're lucky. You're lucky to get this chance for a loving family, and I guess that's true. All I know is you were loved while you were here with us, however short a time it was. I guess I'm the lucky one really… to have been able to be a part of your life at all. _

_Love Always, Finn Hudson_

'Drizzle girl? What did that even mean? And why were there two letters from men.' She assumed her true father was Noah Puckerman by the way he talked about letting her go, but then why was this letter included also. Maybe he was a good friend or a relative or something.

A knock at the door startled her, and when she looked up she saw her aunt peering in.

"How's it going sweetie? Are you alright?"

She glanced up and nodded putting on a happy face as best as she could. She hated when her aunt was so tentative around her.

"Oh baby, don't cry". She quickly lifted a hand to her cheeks and was surprised when it came away wet. She swiped away the tears and realized she must have been crying for a while because the pages of the last two letters were tear stained too.

Her aunt knelt down beside her and wrapped her in her arms whispering comforting words and soothing sounds. Rocking her gently as she leaned into her shoulder and continued to cry.

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**AN: As always please forgive any spelling mistakes. And PLEASE review. I love them and it helps keep me inspired. :)**


	2. Elizabeth Carol Anne

**AN: I can't thank those that took that time to review enough! The positive response blew me away! Please keep it up. :)**

**Disclaimer: As always I own absolutely nothing!**

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_Elizabeth Carol Anne _

That night they brought the letters down to the kitchen table and Aunt Susan, whose solution to any scrape or difficult situation is to put on another pot of tea, did just that. Beth let her read over the letters as they quietly sat sobbing and sipping tea.

"I figured that's what was in the envelope. I knew they had wanted to tell you everything when you were old enough to understand but I didn't know about the letters from your biological parents", said as she delicately touched the edge of her parent's letter, almost as if she was afraid it would turn to dust.

They were quiet for a bit before Aunt Susan interrupted the silence.

"Did you know that your mom gave up a baby once?"

She was shocked. Eyes wide she just shook her head and waited for her aunt to continue.

Aunt Susan looked a little unsure of how to proceed, absentmindedly drawing on the table with her finger as she tried to find the words.

"She did, a little girl. When she was young she dreamed of becoming a star on Broadway. She wanted it so badly that she was willing to do anything to get there, including being a surrogate for a gay couple. They were very sweet and kind to your mom but in the end they thought it was best for the baby if she didn't have any contact with her until she was 18. Your mom agreed at the time but even after years she found it impossible to forget and eventually her regret prevented her from making it as a star. It didn't help when she found out she was no longer able to have kids of her own. She was devastated that she gave up her one chance to have a family. It was a rough time for all of us. Then she heard about a young girl in one of the neighbouring high schools that was pregnant and looking to adopt out the baby. She went to see you at the hospital after you were born. You were so perfect. A little girl, just like the one she had lost. Of course we all thought she was insane to adopt a baby without a husband. But your mom was always so headstrong that there was never any use trying to talk sense into her. One thing's for sure, I'm glad none of us ever succeeded. You've been a blessing to us all, Beth."

Beth smiled through more tears, amazed that she still had tears left to cry.

"Then two months later your mom met your dad and it was love at first sight. He was head over heels for her and more importantly smitten with you. You're mom got her happily ever after, after all", she finished with a twinkle in her eyes.

Beth had to agree that it was the perfect fairy tale. With a perfect happy ending. If only that was really how things ended. But fairy tales never tell you what happens after the prince and princess get married. What happens later is never quite as magical. Her parents are gone now. What kind of fairy tale ends in a fatal car crash?

"What do you know about my real family?", she hears herself whisper. The voice that comes out sounds strange in her ears

Aunt Susan looked torn, "Not much I'm afraid. I know they were just kids, only in grade 10 I believe. Not much older than you really." She stopped and then a small smile spread across her face.

"She named you, you know. Your birth mom. Beth Carol. Your mom of course wanted to add her own touch to your name so she named you Elizabeth instead and added your second middle name, Anne, after Grandma, of course."

Beth smiled at the mention of her late Grandma who was notorious for her sweet tooth and biting wit, even up until the end.

It's funny, she always thought her name was so plain. So unoriginal. How come with a mother named something cool like Shelby and a father named Sawyer she got stuck with a plain Jane name like Elizabeth Carol Anne. However, now that she knows the history behind it she couldn't be more proud. She was like a patchwork quilt, tons of tiny little scraps and pieces sewn together to make something truly unique.

"Let me just make one thing very clear though Beth. You already know about your real family. Your mom and dad were your real family. They loved you more than anyone could ever love you and just because you've now found out that you originally came from someone else doesn't change that. It doesn't make your parents any less real or your biological parents any more valid."

She nodded in understanding, but it didn't change the fact that she now had two other people out there that were a part of her, her flesh and blood. She'd lost so much over the past few weeks that she desperately wanted to hold onto the one thing she seemed to have gained. Was that really so wrong? And what if she had brothers and sisters out there? Or two other sets of grandparents? How many dozens of aunts, uncles and cousins was she missing out on? What if she wasn't as alone as she thought she was?

She said goodnight to her aunt, not because she was tired but because she could see the dark circles beginning to form under her aunts eyes. She collected up her letters and made her way up to her bedroom.

As she lay in her bed unable to sleep she flipped through the letters until she found the pages of lyrics that were tucked in with the brown envelope. She had never heard the song before but the words were beautiful. Sad but beautiful.

She whispered them aloud and then something dawned on her.

She quickly sat up and in an instant of clarity she grabbed her laptop off of her dresser and started to search the local Lima Ohio phone listings. She found no trace of a Noah Puckerman or Quinn Fabray in Lima but she did see one F. Hudson. In fact he only lived across town. She made up her mind in that moment that she needed to meet him. She needed more answers. She needed to know who these people were and how she fit into their story.

Grabbing her backpack, she frantically started stuffing it full of clothes and other necessities. She carefully placed the letters into the front pocket, made sure she had enough money to catch the couple of buses it took to get across town before jotting down the address she needed and writing her Aunt a quick note.

_I'm sorry Aunt Susan, but I need to know more. I promise I'll be careful._  
_XOXO_  
_Bethy_

___********__****__****_

_**Oh, why you look so sad,  
**__**Tears are in your eyes,  
**__**Come on and come to me now.**_

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AN: Sorry for any typos or spelling errors. As usual I edit it a thousand times and yet there are always a handful of mistakes that slip through.

**Also, Reviews are GREATLY appreciated! Once again I loved all of the reviews, favourites and alerts I recieved for the first chapter. It really made my day... week...****month!**


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